Positive thoughts

Positive thoughts that give energy to my life and yours.

Friday, September 16, 2005


A rational professor (as he calls himself) speaks to his class on the problem that science has with Krishna. He asks one of his new students Hiten Raja to stand.

Professor: You are a Krishna devotee, aren't you, son?
Hiten: Yes, sir.
Prof: So you believe in God?
Hiten: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Hiten: Sure.
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Hiten: Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to Krishna to heal him. Most of us would
attempt to help others who are ill. But Krishna didn't. How is this Krishna good then? (Hiten
Raja is silent.)
Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Hiten: Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Hiten: No.
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Hiten: From...God...
Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Hiten: Yes.
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Hiten: Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
(Hiten does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the
world, don't they?
Hiten: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
(Hiten has no answer.)
Prof: Tell me, son. Do you believe in Krishna?
Hiten: Yes, professor, I do.
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have
you ever seen Krishna?
Hiten: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your Krishna?
Hiten: Yes , sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your Krishna, tasted your Krishna, smelt your Krishna? Have you ever
had any sensory perception o Krishna or God for that matter?
Hiten: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Hiten: Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says our Krishna doesn't
exist. What do you say to that, son?
Hiten: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has with Krishna.
Hiten: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Hiten: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Hiten: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Hiten: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little
heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero
which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold.
Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is
energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Hiten: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Hiten: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light,
normal light, bright light, flashing light.....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing
and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be
able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Hiten: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Hiten: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is
death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite,
something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and
magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either on. To view death as the
opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is
not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students
that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Hiten : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Hiten : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove
that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a
scientist but a preacher?
(The class is in uproar.)
Hiten : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Hiten : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt
it?.....No one appears to have done so. Therefore, according to the established rules of empirical,
stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir,
how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Hiten Raja: That is it sir.. The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Tempt Temper Tempest

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the! young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."
"A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Does god exist?

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists." "Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."

"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Monday, September 12, 2005

Business is Business

One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.

Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll give you the $20."

As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." Jayant replied,"Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but this money goes to the poor kid who chants "Rama's" name, so I said that"

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Al-gebra terrorist group

This is a very serious threat, particularly for young people. Please take extra precautions in your lives. Please also share this important information with your friends, so that no harm comes to them too.

At Toronto's Pearson airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, and a calculator. Justice Minister Ann McLelland believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed. They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the great Greek philanderer isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

Therefore, I'm extremely grateful that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are so willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. These statistic bastards love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the
circumferences, it's time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line. These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex. As an American President would say, Read my ellipse.

Here is one principle he is uncertainty of---though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks.

Birbal's Wits: Love infinite

It was the Birthday of Akbar, the Emperor of Mughals. Everyone in Akbar's court visited him and conveyed their wishes to him and praised him in many ways. Birbal, who was the chief minister in the court and the one with a sharp intellect, conveyed his wishes and said, "Badshah! Your fame is indeed greater than that of God!"

Hearing this, Akbar at first thought that it was indeed true that Hindus were tolerant towards all religions. Further, he knew that according to the laws of the land he governed, no body should praise any one by calling him as God's equal or greater than God, failing which they would be sentenced to death.

So, Akbar became furious and said, "How do you say that I am greater than the Lord of the Universe? You have to prove." Birbal just ignored the question. Seeing Birbal unconcerned Akbar said in frightening tone, "If you fail to prove your words, your head will certainly chopped off." Birbal still remained calm and unperturbed.

At last Akbar said, "Birbal! Since you are my friend, I can't bring myself to kill you. From this moment, I declare you to be ungrateful to God and as a traitor and order you leave the country under my kingdom before midnight." On hearing this Birbal started laughing heartily! Then he said, "You have declared what I had to prove!" Akbar looked confused. Birbal continued, "God can not ask anyone to get out of His kingdom. For, whatever there is, it is indeed His and would always be under His kingdom. Love personified, as He is, where will he drive away any one? You have said something that God can never say. So, my statement stands proved." Akbar too realized the truth. Is not God and His Love immeasurable!

Friday, September 09, 2005

The Red Phone

This is a joke that I (Stephen Knapp) often tell, with my own embellishments, while on lecture tours in India. You’ll see why.(Courtesy: www.stephen-knapp.com)

There was a simple and little Hindu priest who lived in Mathura. Once he had the chance to go visit the Pope at the Vatican in Italy. After traveling to the Vatican, he walked up the steps and through the halls of the opulent building where the Pope stayed. He looked in awe at the beautiful marble floors and majestic columns. Then he came into the Pope’s office and he greeted the Pope who was seated behind his desk. The little Hindu priest sat nearby and they exchanged pleasantries. Then the Hindu priest noticed a red phone sitting at the end of the desk. So the Hindu priest asked what it was.
“Oh, that’s my hotline to God,” replied the Pope. “Whenever things get too difficult and I need to have a personal talk with God, I give Him a call.”
“Oh,” said the priest. “Would you mind if I tried it?”
“No, not at all,” the Pope responded.

So the little Hindu priest picked up the phone, dialed the number, and sure enough, he got through to God. So he offered his respects and prayers, said he was very happy to talk to Him, and then hung up the phone after only five minutes. He was a simple priest and did not have much more to say to God. He then thanked the Pope for the privilege of using the special red phone.

The Pope replied, “Oh that is quite all right. By the way, that will be $75.”
“Seventy-five dollars?” inquired the Hindu priest.
“Oh yes,” said the Pope. “You know, long distance charges. It’s a long way from here to God, you know.”
So the priest pulled out his wallet and gave the pope the seventy-five dollars.

Several months later, the Pope had the opportunity to visit India, and it was arranged for him to come to Mathura and visit the little Hindu priest. So the Pope approached the little hut of the Hindu priest, ducking his head as he walked through the door. He sat in a chair in front of the little table where the Hindu priest was pleased to again meet the Pope. They exchanged greetings when the Pope noticed the same kind of red phone on the priest’s table as he had at the Vatican. So the Pope asked what that was.
“Why, I also have a hotline to God,” replied the Hindu priest.
“Do you mind if I use it?” asked the Pope. “I really have a lot on my mind.”
“Please do,” responded the priest.

So the Pope got on the phone and got a good connection and managed to get through to God. He offered his prayers, but then had many things to discuss. He talked about the trouble in the Vatican, the difficulties with the priests and legal charges in the United States, the changing attitudes of the congregation in England and Europe, and so on. Fifteen minutes went by, then a half-hour, then finally after nearly an hour he was able to put the phone down. Then he said, “Thank you very much. I feel a lot better now. I had so much to talk about. By the way, how much will that be?”
The Hindu priest thought a moment and then said, “Two rupees.”
“What,” the Pope replied, surprised at how inexpensive it was. “Why so cheap?”
“Why don’t you know?” asked the little Hindu priest. “Here it is a local call.”